So, after sharing some general information and more of a funny story (it is, from the outside, I guess), I think it’s time to give you a view into my actual game PRE-PUA / START-PUA. Capital letters, because you know my mission is to change it to make things actually work out like I want them to. So this will be the story with a try of a cross-explanation about what might have gone wrong at the same time.
Guy: 24, Latin native from my living country, student, very nice smile, bit small, but I’m small as well, so who cares
How we connected: you can’t call it online-dating, but we connected over facebook. we’re members in an online tandem group between our both native languages, where he was very active in, and we had a short comment exchange over a language meme. Out of pure curiosity I went onto his profile, saw we had a common friend, was bored, and texted him about it. We started talking, half like in a tandem, half because we were both bored, half I guess because we both found the other person interesting and connected fast. Ended up talking about 3h into the night, and continued the next few days. I think I have to make a post about texting game, I seem to have a talent for that. *note to self*
Game: As chance would have it, I had a visit scheduled to the town he studies in – my favourite city here, had a ride there in the morning, and my friends were most likely sleeping until the afternoon. We spontaneously decided to go for a coffee, and it was nice. No particular physical attraction from my side, but also definitely no aversion. But I already registered he might be interested. Had good talks, hardly could stop talking again, and agreed to maybe meet up in the night again. In the night I was left with nothing to do (all friends hungover :P) and texted him. We met with friends of his and the whole evening was nice, I talked to everyone, drank a bit, made him buy me a drink (Ladies, if you need tips on that one: be occupied with something, in my case it was playing table football, and simply ask the guy nicely to get you something. Just don’t offer to pay neither before nor after. If you know game is on, simply don’t bother. He’ll pay and not say a word. Guaranteed.).
I find it hard to write the following things down because they sound like deliberate decisions when actually it happened unconsciously. Which is exactly part of the problem. Please note this.
So while being all around in the bar, as always checking out the guys but not being particularly interested in anyone, I made sure to get back to him, because with a few drinks and after such great talks, I realised I might actually be interested in the guy. Not as in a one night stand, but maybe for more, who knows. So I started sending out my signs. Started touching him while talking, especially arms, leaning in close, sitting close n touching a leg with mine, eye contact, concentrating on conversations with him, etc. End of the night, we sit alone next to each other, talking, obviously being close, when basically in the middle of the sentence he kisses me. And after apologizes for doing it. *eyeroll*
Oh well, That dude obviously had some experience picking up girls, but no idea about actual game, I could tell. Even without knowing much about PUA at that point. He asked about getting out of the bar and taking a walk to the river.
Yes, I should have known better. But I was a bit drunk, really in the mood for a walk and didn’t exepect him to escalate because he didn’t quite seem the type.
Well, I was of course proven wrong and he wanted to take a bus back to his place. I told him that I was really sick of ONS lately – but we were both not looking for a relationship (me mainly because I live 3h from there). So instead, thumbs up for him on that one, we actually went for a walk and had a very long insightful conversation about ONS, men, women, love, etc.
I have to admit, this conversation was one of the primary reasons for starting PUA. Because some things he told me, made me realise, that with my game I unconsciously lead an encounter with a guy I like into direction of ONS, apparently.
This conversation disturbed me deeply and made me very sad, and I started thinking about it a lot.
I think this was one of the strangest short-term encounters we both ever had with the other sex. Speaking of. I did not go home with him that night, also not after 2 hours of talking. Instead I wrote him a message the next day, that I have time in the evening to stop by at his place. I was fucking horny, but I wanted this to go my way. So, for the first time, I took the situation into my hands only and controlled it. Even if I ended up having a ONS, this was my first real PUA.
I’d be more proud of it if the sex would have been good though. A pity. Wasn’t bad, either, but a bit disappointing. Oh well.